Invitees

OK Here is my conundrum.

Someone else in my program is getting married before me and she invited the whole class.  That was really nice of her!  I am definitely going to the reception, the ceremony unfortunately is still on Shabbat and I can't get there (but the reception is after Shabbat, so I can make it!).  The thing is, she is getting married in Chicago, so it's different, kind of?  I'll explain.

Our wedding is in Maryland.  There is a good chance most people in my program won't be able to make it because flying is too expensive and it's a 12 hour drive.  Plus, on top of that, the hotel costs, etc.

So then, should I invite everyone in my program, or just the people I am close with?  We are having numbers issues, and are cutting back on invitees because we are running out of space.  I don't want to invite the whole program because we just don't have room for many more people.  I don't want to invite select people for the reason that BECAUSE most people won't be able to come anyway, all that would accomplish is making some type of statement as to who my "real" friends are in the program.  Or, should I not invite anyone from the program (I don't really like this option, I have already become good friends with some of my classmates)?

On a positive note, a surprising number of our friends have already said they have booked hotels or flights!  People we were unsure of because of financial concerns are coming anyway!  How exciting!!  They are sharing hotel rooms, shacking up with friends in the area, etc.  Some are even coming for the whole weekend!

Plus One

We were having a little drama about the issue of "plus one"s. I think the drama is over now, though, so I'm glad that was short lived. I think the invitations might become a bigger issue if we start getting into really high numbers, because I'm not sure I want 300 people at the wedding (and also the venue only holds 250). I'd really like to keep it 150 or less but I'm not sure that's happening. It's not terrible to have it so big, it's just... so big.

ANYWAY...

This is what the story is right now: Anyone single over 30ish gets a +1. Meaning, they get a "Jane Doe and guest" invitation. This is because so many people in that demographic will be paired up so it might feel awkward for some people to go stag. Under 30 (other than my single cousins) don't get a +1, because there is a pretty big crowd of single 20-somethings that will be there and a lot of them know each other. Everyone in a serious relationship gets an invitation that includes his/her significant other. The problem with this is the definition of a "serious relationship" - how long do they have to be together, how serious is serious, whatever. I think this will have to be a case-by-case basis. Many wedding sites say to use the "one year" guideline, so we might do that in the case that we don't know much about the relationship of the couple, but it's not a hard and fast rule I think.

There are a couple of reasons why I don't want to give every person without a significant other a +1. The first one being that I don't really want a bunch of strangers at the wedding, people who don't know us and probably won't ever see us again. JewishGuy and I agreed about this, we don't want people to have to "find a date." But also I think it will bring the guest list up too much, potentially 20 more people, and when we're already watching our numbers to keep it at 150 it just doesn't make sense.

I hope everyone can be happy with that!