Post-Wedding Blues

Someone commented on one of my pictures or posts somewhere on the internet in the past couple of days "plan something fun to avoid post-wedding blues."

Post-Wedding Blues?

OH...

I really don't want to go back to school yet. I don't want to be back in real life yet. Last weekend was so fun and amazing and fantastic and now I have to write a paper? Study for an exam? Be at work?

Our friends are throwing us sheva brachot, which are great! But somehow during the day I feel a little down. Like, oh, it's over now. I was near a neat little trendy second-hand shop wanted to go shopping for outfits for the wedding weekend but there's no need! It's weird not to be in prep mode. In "post" mode. It's weird! And no real time for that shift because all of my major deadlines are coming up now! Two papers effectively due this Tuesday because Passover starts Wednesday and we are traveling.

Also, our cat, who missed us terribly, is keeping us up all night to snuggle (she is loud and persuasive when she wants to snuggle) so I'm not sleeping.

Who knew there was such a thing as post-wedding blues?

I just keep refreshing the photographer's blog waiting for the pictures to show up! And we are going to help the videographer with editing the video, then there will be that. And of course there are the amazing gifts we are receiving, and the thank-you notes. And I keep looking down at my hand and it's so fun to see the two rings instead of one and how "blinged out" my finger looks (thanks CankeyB). Also I have been looking through all the pictures my friends have been posting on facebook - looking through them over and over and over again!

I tried to make some art about it yesterday and I might continue this evening after I make some headway on this major paper I have been putting off (like everyone else, I know I'm not alone, at least I kind of have the excuse of the wedding haha).

I kind of wish we were going on a honeymoon but I know that's not really possible right now. Maybe in August we will go somewhere for a little while, since that is when I have my break, but who knows.

And now, a couple of pictures, maybe I will just post them piecemeal hehehe

The picture above was taken by one of my friends during the bedeken, when the groom traditionally puts the veil over the bride. At our bedeken, I also put the kittel on JewishGuy. The veil tradition comes from either a) making sure he has the right bride (ala Jacob marrying Leah by mistake); and/or b) Rebecca veiling herself when she saw Isaac she was blushing, she was so in love with him at first sight.


This one came from the camera of one of my parents' friends - he has over 400 images, my mom is sending them to me on a CD later. My dad uploaded some of them to his facebook so I am stealing them!

You can see our simple chuppah! I know a lot of people find this blog by googling "Simple Chuppah." It seems there are a lot of other Jewish brides out there who don't want anything too fancy. This chuppah was JewishGuy's Savta's tablecloth on four bamboo poles with some daisies. Four of JewishGuy's friends carried the chuppah down the aisle and stood with us the whole time. Very neat.

I loved that we were completely surrounded by friends and family standing up there. Not just friends standing to either side of us, but as you can see we are really surrounded.

Also, funny story, that window looks out onto a golf course and we could see people putting in front of us as JewishGuy's dad read the ketubah out loud...

Veil, phew, & Bridal Therapy

Who knew you had to custom-order veils? I certainly didn't. If I did, maybe I wouldn't have put it off so long (okay I probably would have, but I would have stressed about it more and gotten more nagging).

I tried to make an appointment at Macy's, it was really confusing, they gave me the wrong date for the sample sale, etc etc. Well, I made an appointment anyway to see what samples they had left. Apparently because the wedding is in less than three weeks I don't have time to have a custom-ordered veil. I don't want that anyway! I wanted to walk into Macy's empty-handed and walk out with a veil. I wanted a really simple veil, not too long.

So today was my appointment. I had to go alone because of the weird timing of this appointment, it was an hour after my therapy appointment (so I wouldn't be able to hang out in the down time) and nobody was going to be around downtown until then without me. I went to Macy's to shop for that hour before the appointment. Then I went to the bridal department and waited for the lady to attend to me.

While I was waiting I met this bride whose wedding is in November and she was freaking out quietly with the swatches for the fabric for her bridesmaids' dresses. We got to talking and it sounded like she was a lot like me, anxious about all of the attention. The conversation actually went something like this:

Me: I don't know, for some reason with the bridesmaids it wasn't AS important for me what they wear, just what they want to wear. But when it comes to me, I'm so picky, it has to be exactly right.

Other bride: BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT YOU.

- OKAY - I literally had that exact anxious mantra. Still have it, but I'm dealing with it. Kinda.

I told her about Offbeat Bride, because she was talking about how there are so many nutsos on TheKnot, these people who are taking everything very seriously and are making her freak out (she had already bought her dress for her November wedding). I told her that Offbeat Bride literally just had an article about tailoring weddings for brides who are anxious about being in the spotlight. I explained that the site gives ideas for alternative ways to plan the wedding, not being so caught up in ettiquette, etc. When I told her I bought a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown she was like, why didn't I think of that? I said, Go to Offbeat Bride.

I should get paid for that kind of advertising!

Anyway, when I told JewishGuy about this later, he said that once I become an art therapist I should specialize in Bridal Therapy. I am seriously considering it! I mean, all I would have to do once I get my ATR and am legally allowed to practice would be to put my card in bridal salons. People would have to pay out of pocket but it might be worth it for anxious brides like me. I mean I don't know what I would have done without going to therapy during this engagement! haha.

OKAY back to the veil.

I went back with the attendant to try on the veils. Once I told her I had a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown, she tried to sell me a long veil. It was plain but it was very long, the back went to my calves - she said it would make me look more bridal since I don't have a bridal gown. I'm not sure she understood the point of buying a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown (well, maybe she thought it was for economic reasons). I had to convince her to show me the shorter veil! She eventually did, so I tried it on and it was great. It's a two-tier veil (one tier with a blusher) that is elbow-length. I said, I'd take it. How much?

She said, $300.

....

Are you kidding?

Hooray for my bargaining skillz. Although what I paid is still a lot, it is 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding and I won't really have time to order from the internet. So I bought it. I probably could have shopped around for cheaper, but I think I would run the risk of having a poofy, low-quality veil. I'm looking around online and I see similar styles for less than $100, but I am not sure if they would lay correctly on my head. Anyway I'm happy with the purchase.

It looks like this:


(That's not me in the picture of course)

So... hooray. Veil. Phew.

Taking Care of Bidnez..

Today we went suit shopping and ring shopping.

It's SO FRUSTRATING how easy it is for JewishGuy to buy a suit and it took me forever to get a dress! How is it that he could walk into a store, tell someone what he wants, and get it, bim bam boom and an hour (and much moneys) later: suit. Done. Yes, I could have done that too, gone to a fancypants bridal shop and plopped down more money than two suits and picked out a dress that was heavy and tight on me, but I knew I didn't want to shop at a bridal salon. So I did it the hard way, I guess. Well, it wasn't so hard, but it was a very long process. ALSO, the store is tailoring it for him, right on the spot, but I have to go to a tailor to have mine done.

Wah wah.

But the suit is great and matches my dress. Also it was a buy-one-get-one-free thing for the suits, so he got a nice work suit, too - and since he had a coupon from another time he spent a lot of money in this store, he bought two other shirt-tie combinations (and shoes, socks, pocket silks, and a belt).

Phew.

Then we went to get our wedding bands. It's actually hard to find a plain wedding band with no rocks in it for women. We had to go to the "men's" section, although it's more unisex than men-only. I have a small man's ring now and JewishGuy also has a thicker man's ring - white gold, plain, and matches the engagement ring. They are sizing it down and it will be ready on Wednesday.

While we were there they offered to re-dip my engagement ring, which is white gold and needed to be re-plated, so they did it on the spot. It looks great :)

Also I am still deciding if I want to have a veil. Jewish brides have been wearing veils for thousands of years so maybe I should wear one. But it seems kind of fake for me, like I am playing dress-up, but then again I am playing dress-up. So... I don't know. When JewishGuy comes in to put my veil on me, I will put his kittel on him, so we will be-decken each other (har-de-har-har).

So... things I still need just for me:

- veil?
- head thing for after the veil is off
- shoes
- alter my dress
- trial wedding hair run-through

Hmm.. No Veil?

Now I am thinking maybe I won't have a veil at all. Maybe ... instead of a veil ... JewishGuy could put something over my shoulders, like a nice shawl or something, and at the same time I will put on his kittel. I haven't decided yet, I just started thinking about this tonight. My dress is strapless, so it could look nice with something on my shoulders, something loose I guess.

I'm just not sure the veil is "me." I don't know if I would feel good about wearing it. It's one thing to get a dress that looks nice that I will wear all day because it is a dressy event and I want to wear white. But it's another to get a veil for the sake of having one if I'm not sure I want one.

Lalala decisions...

Mantilla

For a while I was pretty sure I didn't want a veil. Then it was the question of, so what happens at the bedeken if there's no veil to put on the bride? But then I remembered this entry about the photographer and the veil that I wrote back in October and decided to try to find out what kind of veil that is. It's called a mantilla. It's a Spanish style veil. I don't know how it will go with the dresses I already ordered but I think it's pretty.

I kind of need to decide on the dress first, but I think all of the dresses I ordered are simple enough to go with a mantilla veil. Also, I am going to see what my mom's dress and veil look like when I take a trip home next week.

Gorgeous!

I took this photo from Jessica and Ben's post about a featured photographer, Tec Pataja.

I just think this is a gorgeous veil.  I don't know if it's what I want, but it is so pretty!

I need this veil

I know, these posts are hilarious and have no real wedding planning value.

BUT.

I must have this veil.