Jewish "Bridezilla" Gal

Toronto Wedding Recap

2009-05-20T09:42:00.001-07:00

Let me begin by saying it was actually very hard for me to capture this wedding on camera! First, I had never thought of taking pictures at other people's weddings until people did it for ours and I really appreciated it - so I decided from now on I am taking pictures at other people's weddings so that they can have pictures right away, without having to wait for the professional photographer to see how everything went (it goes so fast you barely remember anything!).

Second, my camera isn't the best and there were over 400 guests, meaning my vantage points were not always great. I had to zoom in quite a bit and tried not to use the flash (so not to be disruptive) so the quality is somewhat grainy.

Yes! You heard me - over 400 guests! It was pretty amazing.

Anyway, on to the pictures...

JewishGuy was asked to be one of the witnesses on the ketubah, so here he is about to sign it next to the bride and groom.

This is the chuppah from where I was sitting - I did get pretty close! But no aisle, so no good shots for me. It is a simple chuppah that only looks more complicated because of the decorative twigs on the poles.

The bride circles the groom 3 times in this wedding. I hadn't heard of the tradition of circling 3 times (as opposed to 7, which is what I did). In a way it was kind of good she only had to go around 3 times because her long beautiful train was actually wrapping around the groom's legs!

A better shot of the chuppah with the bride and groom's heads.

The hall was so beautiful! The centerpieces looked like trees growing up from the tables with lanterns and flowers. The lanterns were little tea lights that flickered in the trees and looked like fireflies or stars floating above people's heads during the reception.

Close-up of the centerpieces.

First dance :) (although this happened much later in the evening, like around 10pm!).

It is a tradition in Canadian weddings to have lots of speeches, so I've heard. At our wedding, JewishGuy's family gave speeches and my parents gave short toasts. So at this wedding, there were speeches, and the bride and groom each have 3 siblings, so it was quite a speech procession! The best man (also one of JewishGuy's friends) gave a speech that was also a song, backed up by another groomsman on the guitar. Hilarious! Also at this wedding, taking a cue from ours, was a scotch bar, which JewishGuy happily enjoyed - as did many of their friends (I drove a full car of people home that night!).

It was a great time! I am excited that I have two more weddings this summer to document, one more friend's wedding in September and my cousin in August!

Wedding in Toronto

2009-05-19T22:21:00.000-07:00

We just got back from a wedding in Toronto! Okay, so I haven't really even blogged about my own wedding now that it's over (waiting on some pictures which should be here soon!), but I thought I would post a photo from this wedding:

More later! I'll keep promising that and one day I will actually write more!

2009-04-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

Post-Wedding Blues

2009-04-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

Someone commented on one of my pictures or posts somewhere on the internet in the past couple of days "plan something fun to avoid post-wedding blues."

Post-Wedding Blues?

OH...

I really don't want to go back to school yet. I don't want to be back in real life yet. Last weekend was so fun and amazing and fantastic and now I have to write a paper? Study for an exam? Be at work?

Our friends are throwing us sheva brachot, which are great! But somehow during the day I feel a little down. Like, oh, it's over now. I was near a neat little trendy second-hand shop wanted to go shopping for outfits for the wedding weekend but there's no need! It's weird not to be in prep mode. In "post" mode. It's weird! And no real time for that shift because all of my major deadlines are coming up now! Two papers effectively due this Tuesday because Passover starts Wednesday and we are traveling.

Also, our cat, who missed us terribly, is keeping us up all night to snuggle (she is loud and persuasive when she wants to snuggle) so I'm not sleeping.

Who knew there was such a thing as post-wedding blues?

I just keep refreshing the photographer's blog waiting for the pictures to show up! And we are going to help the videographer with editing the video, then there will be that. And of course there are the amazing gifts we are receiving, and the thank-you notes. And I keep looking down at my hand and it's so fun to see the two rings instead of one and how "blinged out" my finger looks (thanks CankeyB). Also I have been looking through all the pictures my friends have been posting on facebook - looking through them over and over and over again!

I tried to make some art about it yesterday and I might continue this evening after I make some headway on this major paper I have been putting off (like everyone else, I know I'm not alone, at least I kind of have the excuse of the wedding haha).

I kind of wish we were going on a honeymoon but I know that's not really possible right now. Maybe in August we will go somewhere for a little while, since that is when I have my break, but who knows.

And now, a couple of pictures, maybe I will just post them piecemeal hehehe

The picture above was taken by one of my friends during the bedeken, when the groom traditionally puts the veil over the bride. At our bedeken, I also put the kittel on JewishGuy. The veil tradition comes from either a) making sure he has the right bride (ala Jacob marrying Leah by mistake); and/or b) Rebecca veiling herself when she saw Isaac she was blushing, she was so in love with him at first sight.

This one came from the camera of one of my parents' friends - he has over 400 images, my mom is sending them to me on a CD later. My dad uploaded some of them to his facebook so I am stealing them!

You can see our simple chuppah! I know a lot of people find this blog by googling "Simple Chuppah." It seems there are a lot of other Jewish brides out there who don't want anything too fancy. This chuppah was JewishGuy's Savta's tablecloth on four bamboo poles with some daisies. Four of JewishGuy's friends carried the chuppah down the aisle and stood with us the whole time. Very neat.

I loved that we were completely surrounded by friends and family standing up there. Not just friends standing to either side of us, but as you can see we are really surrounded.

Also, funny story, that window looks out onto a golf course and we could see people putting in front of us as JewishGuy's dad read the ketubah out loud...

The Wedding!!!

2009-04-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite pictures so far, taken by one of JewishGuy's friends :)

The whole weekend was amazing, I can't even begin to describe it! I keep wanting to sit down and write a whole post, but I'm not sure how to do that. Should I break it down, day-by-day? Or should I just write one big EEEEEEE post?

So here goes, one big EEEEE post, to be followed up by other, smaller posts. A compromise, I guess!

Everything went perfectly, as far as I could tell! The bachelorette party was superfun, Shabbat was great and full of enthusiasm, and Sunday was just a blur of awesomeness. I remember looking around while people were eating on Sunday and saying to JewishGuy - I can't believe how perfect this is, everyone is so happy, the weather is beautiful, this place is beautiful, and it's so fun.

I kind of want to talk about Sunday first, so I will, and hopefully eventually I will come back to the rest of the weekend at some point.

All week we anxiously looked at weather.com and talked to our friend The Meteorologist for updates on the weather. Being March and DC, the weather could do whatever it wanted at a moment's notice. At the last minute we decided to hold the ceremony inside because thunderstorms were predicted for the afternoon. No thunderstorms ever materialized, but it was beautiful inside and out. As you can see, the room was full of glass, so it was almost like being outside but without the bugs and wind.

Then we left and ate in a room by ourselves as friends banged on the door. When we came back, we were sent into the main room under a bridge of streamers!

During the dancing, someone came up to me and said "when you're in the chair, lean back!"

"What?"

Suddenly I was shoved back into a chair and up above everyone's heads! It was really hilarious. JewishGuy and I did the thing where you hold the handkerchief between you. Awesome.

Then after more dancing, we were pushed back into two chairs and given water, streamers, glow sticks and leis. Our friends and family did some funny dances and schtik for us. It was awesome and so funny!

The rest of the night kept going just as fast, I don't think it slowed for a second. The speeches were great, JewishGuy and I played "The shoe game," which we kind of were hoping to play (thanks SportyJew :P). We took pictures with the various contingencies at the wedding - friends from other cities - and ate delicious food.

When it was over we went back to the hotel and hung out for a couple more hours ... then it was all over! How bizarre! It's over?

I'll write more about it later, shorter stories about specific things that happened. Now I'm kind of back in the real world and have massive papers and exams I have to recognize as being real and coming up.

PHEW

2009-03-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

It was an amazing weekend!

I'll post pictures when I get them!

Getting close!

2009-03-22T11:24:00.000-07:00

We finished the programs today except for the table assignment stickers. We've made a 7 page book for the programs, printed them at kinkos and then bound them ourselves with embroidery floss. Then we glued on tags that were made by the invitations lady, to tie everything together (like a good rug).

I can't believe it's so close! In two and a half days we will get in the car and begin the road trip across the country.

It's weird that it's been a whole year since I started this blog. Time just passes and things come together, I guess!

I am still deciding if I want to get new outfits for the weekend but I probably won't. More likely, I will try to make new outfits out of things I already have. I don't really think I feel like really shopping. I have made a few attempts in these final weeks to go shopping for Shabbat outfits but have gotten distracted or the store I wanted to go to was no longer in business, and I don't really feel like trying too hard when I have a closet full of dresses I've only worn a couple of times (usually to previous weddings).

Yesterday we had an aufruf here because like so many people we are having the wedding somewhere else. It seems to be a tradition to have one aufruf in this congregation 2 weeks before the wedding and another at the congregation where the wedding will take place the week before. It was fun! People threw hershey kisses at us (painful, but JewishGuy blocked it haha), and then the drama with the kiddush lunch. Good times. :)

So here's this week's schedule!

Sunday: finish work for class
Monday: class
Tuesday: class and pack
Wednesday: 12 hour drive home
Thursday: courthouse for marriage license stuff and then bachelorette party!
Friday: move into the hotel, Shabbat services / dinner
Saturday: aufruf, lunch, and dinner, maybe going out?
Sunday: wedding!

Veil, phew, & Bridal Therapy

2009-03-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

Who knew you had to custom-order veils? I certainly didn't. If I did, maybe I wouldn't have put it off so long (okay I probably would have, but I would have stressed about it more and gotten more nagging).

I tried to make an appointment at Macy's, it was really confusing, they gave me the wrong date for the sample sale, etc etc. Well, I made an appointment anyway to see what samples they had left. Apparently because the wedding is in less than three weeks I don't have time to have a custom-ordered veil. I don't want that anyway! I wanted to walk into Macy's empty-handed and walk out with a veil. I wanted a really simple veil, not too long.

So today was my appointment. I had to go alone because of the weird timing of this appointment, it was an hour after my therapy appointment (so I wouldn't be able to hang out in the down time) and nobody was going to be around downtown until then without me. I went to Macy's to shop for that hour before the appointment. Then I went to the bridal department and waited for the lady to attend to me.

While I was waiting I met this bride whose wedding is in November and she was freaking out quietly with the swatches for the fabric for her bridesmaids' dresses. We got to talking and it sounded like she was a lot like me, anxious about all of the attention. The conversation actually went something like this:

Me: I don't know, for some reason with the bridesmaids it wasn't AS important for me what they wear, just what they want to wear. But when it comes to me, I'm so picky, it has to be exactly right.

Other bride: BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL BE LOOKING AT YOU.

- OKAY - I literally had that exact anxious mantra. Still have it, but I'm dealing with it. Kinda.

I told her about Offbeat Bride, because she was talking about how there are so many nutsos on TheKnot, these people who are taking everything very seriously and are making her freak out (she had already bought her dress for her November wedding). I told her that Offbeat Bride literally just had an article about tailoring weddings for brides who are anxious about being in the spotlight. I explained that the site gives ideas for alternative ways to plan the wedding, not being so caught up in ettiquette, etc. When I told her I bought a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown she was like, why didn't I think of that? I said, Go to Offbeat Bride.

I should get paid for that kind of advertising!

Anyway, when I told JewishGuy about this later, he said that once I become an art therapist I should specialize in Bridal Therapy. I am seriously considering it! I mean, all I would have to do once I get my ATR and am legally allowed to practice would be to put my card in bridal salons. People would have to pay out of pocket but it might be worth it for anxious brides like me. I mean I don't know what I would have done without going to therapy during this engagement! haha.

OKAY back to the veil.

I went back with the attendant to try on the veils. Once I told her I had a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown, she tried to sell me a long veil. It was plain but it was very long, the back went to my calves - she said it would make me look more bridal since I don't have a bridal gown. I'm not sure she understood the point of buying a white evening gown instead of a bridal gown (well, maybe she thought it was for economic reasons). I had to convince her to show me the shorter veil! She eventually did, so I tried it on and it was great. It's a two-tier veil (one tier with a blusher) that is elbow-length. I said, I'd take it. How much?

She said, $300.

....

Are you kidding?

Hooray for my bargaining skillz. Although what I paid is still a lot, it is 2 1/2 weeks before the wedding and I won't really have time to order from the internet. So I bought it. I probably could have shopped around for cheaper, but I think I would run the risk of having a poofy, low-quality veil. I'm looking around online and I see similar styles for less than $100, but I am not sure if they would lay correctly on my head. Anyway I'm happy with the purchase.

It looks like this:

(That's not me in the picture of course)

So... hooray. Veil. Phew.

Shoes!

2009-03-04T17:20:00.001-08:00

It's hard to get a picture of the color, they are a little darker than this, but YAY. SHOES!

I got an email from Nordstrom saying they were having this big shoe clearance thing, so after my internship today I went with my friend to check out the sale... bim bam boom. Shoes. It took 20 minutes. It was amazing.

When I told the women there I wanted something for my wedding they thought I wanted something fancy. I shouldn't have mentioned wedding. These shoes I found with my friend on the sale rack - they aren't fancy, they aren't heels. When I'm wearing them it's like wearing comfortable socks. I feel like I will be able to stay in these shoes all day without having to take them off to dance or trip over myself.

PHEW.

Next, get dress altered and get veil.

AHHHH FLOWERS!!!!

2009-03-01T12:40:00.000-08:00

Princess Lasertron did my flowers and they are AMAZING. I am going to repost some of the pictures she put on her site:

They are going to be mixed in with white gerbera daises for the bouquets and centerpieces. I am sad that I'm not going to keep all of them!!!

T-30 Days!

2009-03-01T12:39:00.001-08:00

EEEEEE!

Taking Care of Bidnez..

2009-02-08T14:28:00.000-08:00

Today we went suit shopping and ring shopping.

It's SO FRUSTRATING how easy it is for JewishGuy to buy a suit and it took me forever to get a dress! How is it that he could walk into a store, tell someone what he wants, and get it, bim bam boom and an hour (and much moneys) later: suit. Done. Yes, I could have done that too, gone to a fancypants bridal shop and plopped down more money than two suits and picked out a dress that was heavy and tight on me, but I knew I didn't want to shop at a bridal salon. So I did it the hard way, I guess. Well, it wasn't so hard, but it was a very long process. ALSO, the store is tailoring it for him, right on the spot, but I have to go to a tailor to have mine done.

Wah wah.

But the suit is great and matches my dress. Also it was a buy-one-get-one-free thing for the suits, so he got a nice work suit, too - and since he had a coupon from another time he spent a lot of money in this store, he bought two other shirt-tie combinations (and shoes, socks, pocket silks, and a belt).

Phew.

Then we went to get our wedding bands. It's actually hard to find a plain wedding band with no rocks in it for women. We had to go to the "men's" section, although it's more unisex than men-only. I have a small man's ring now and JewishGuy also has a thicker man's ring - white gold, plain, and matches the engagement ring. They are sizing it down and it will be ready on Wednesday.

While we were there they offered to re-dip my engagement ring, which is white gold and needed to be re-plated, so they did it on the spot. It looks great :)

Also I am still deciding if I want to have a veil. Jewish brides have been wearing veils for thousands of years so maybe I should wear one. But it seems kind of fake for me, like I am playing dress-up, but then again I am playing dress-up. So... I don't know. When JewishGuy comes in to put my veil on me, I will put his kittel on him, so we will be-decken each other (har-de-har-har).

So... things I still need just for me:

- veil?
- head thing for after the veil is off
- shoes
- alter my dress
- trial wedding hair run-through

Dating Anniversary

2009-02-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

Today is our 6th Dating Anniversary - the last one we will celebrate!

T-60 Days!

2009-01-27T19:06:00.001-08:00

WOO!

RSVPs

2009-01-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

The best thing about the invitations, I think, besides how cute they are, is that the tear-off postcard has no " _____ will / will not attend." It simply says please respond by February 15 without any instructions on how to do so. The back of the postcard is blank, so most people are using that space to write us a little note and say how excited they are, etc, or even if they can't come they are writing a little note or even a picture :)

LOVE.

How Grandma & Grandpa Met

2009-01-25T21:47:00.000-08:00

Today I visited my grandma after spending the weekend with JewishGuy's sisters and niece and nephew. It was a crazy weekend (I start class tomorrow)! While at early dinner / late lunch with grandma I asked how she and grandpa met and about their wedding. I'm going to rewrite the story here in the first person as best as I can remember it.

---

I had just come back from the army, I wasn't even back a week! My cousin invited me to go to a public dance - they had a lot of those back then - because she didn't want to go alone. We were there and sat waaaay in the back corner talking, I was telling her about the army, and a skinny guy carrying a beer walked past me. I had my leg out a little bit and I tripped him! He walked away and came back without the beer and asked me to dance. I thought he was maybe 20, he was so skinny.

But then when the night was over he said he would want to take me home but he was there with his sister so he had to take her home! I gave him my phone number instead. We started talking on the phone and we found out we had so much in common, and then I found out he graduated from college, and that was it. We were getting along so well that six months later we were married! I only had a few weeks and $300 to pull together a wedding. Most of the money went to the rabbi. There was a discount dress store across the street where I bought my wedding dress - it was aquamarine!

---

I really thought her dress was white! It's funny how the pictures and our expectations change reality.

It was really great to hear the story, I hadn't heard it before. It's funny how she said he was so skinny and looked really young! haha, but then she heard he had gone to college and that was it! awesome :)

Hmm.. No Veil?

2009-01-20T21:20:00.001-08:00

Now I am thinking maybe I won't have a veil at all. Maybe ... instead of a veil ... JewishGuy could put something over my shoulders, like a nice shawl or something, and at the same time I will put on his kittel. I haven't decided yet, I just started thinking about this tonight. My dress is strapless, so it could look nice with something on my shoulders, something loose I guess.

I'm just not sure the veil is "me." I don't know if I would feel good about wearing it. It's one thing to get a dress that looks nice that I will wear all day because it is a dressy event and I want to wear white. But it's another to get a veil for the sake of having one if I'm not sure I want one.

Lalala decisions...

The Dress Party & Decision

2009-01-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

Here it is, this is the one I picked! Everyone has been asking so I am posting. I am not posting photos because I don't like doing that on my blogs, so you just have to imagine. I will be sending pictures to some people but not right now.

People have been asking have I found "THE DRESS." Well, I thought I might have a reaction like that, like OOOOOOOOH THIS IS THE ONE !!! .... But I didn't, it's a nice dress that looks good on me. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I haven't really been like that for anything else so far I think? Yes, I have a dress, hooray! Another thing to check off on the list! I was putting a lot of importance into this dress that wasn't really there, I guess. Some of it feels a little artificial, "The Dress" and all, but I am excited that I have finally picked a dress and now that pressure is off!

(I still wish JewishGuy had asked my permission before opening the boxes of dresses while I was out of town)

For the party, a few of my friends came over and brought breakfasty dishes. We talked and ate and then I tried on dresses :) It was nice, even though I had to kind of kick people out so I could go to the art studio (this winter class is killing me).

I am glad that I did it this way. I really hate shopping - I mean I like shopping, but by myself, I don't like shopping with other people at all. And I realize I don't really like shopping with people when they are there just for you, it makes me really self-conscious not only of how I look but also that I am wasting their time and they are just sitting around waiting for me to make a decision. In my house, people are hanging out, eating, relaxing, warm, etc, and either way - even if I hadn't decided on a dress - it would have been a good time.

I think this party was the girliest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I feel good about it but I also feel uneasy for some reason.

It's in the mail.................

2009-01-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

the invitations!

Last night I sat down and stamped, stuffed, stamped, and sealed the invitations and today JewishGuy took them to the post office! I just can't get over how pretty the invitations are!!!

THE INVITATIONS!

2009-01-13T16:59:00.001-08:00

YAY! They are done and they are soooooooo pretty :D

It's all one piece, tri-folded, and the last fold is perforated so it breaks off into a postcard. No inserts, no extra papers, no giant envelopes.

The extra little squares are tags that we are going to affix to programs/menus/whatever so that we can print the things at kinkos or somewhere not so expensive and then have a fancy touch :) They came with the invitations because there's extra space on the paper for those little squares.

Also we have matching thank-you stationary, which is just a single card (you can see it in the top picture). It has enough space for a short thank you, and is so nice I hope people keep them.

I love them because they are so pretty but not girly, and so different!

All Accounted For!

2009-01-13T16:48:00.000-08:00

Yay! The new dresses have arrived! Now I have all four, ready for my party on Sunday. :)

JCrew! Dresses!! GRRR!! :(

2009-01-11T10:49:00.000-08:00

JCrew just sent me an email saying that the dress I ordered from them that was scheduled to ship on Friday isn't going to ship until April! WHAT?? So I had to cancel that order. :( That was the one I liked the most.

So I ordered two more dresses from JCrew, this time overnight delivery, if they don't ship this week then I will cancel those orders, too, and will have to just decide between the two dresses I already have.

- ALSO, as a side note, my winter class voted to have off on inauguration day instead of MLK day, and I had scheduled to have my dress-trying-on-party on MLK day since a lot of people have that day off and my winter class is too intense to do it on a regular Sunday. SO I had to reschedule my dress party to the Sunday before (Jan 18), which is annoying, because Sundays are so precious. I am racing around trying to get supplies today and also I have to go to the studio to catch up for the hour I missed on Friday to get home before Shabbat. (Why am I posting, then? Good question...)

Anyway, the two new dresses are:

(I ordered this one in ivory)

Maybe it will work out after all because I actually think I like these more than the one I had originally picked out. So if these come in time I will have 4 dresses for my party, 3 long ones and 1 short one.

And... happy new year!

2009-01-01T15:02:00.001-08:00

Only 86 days left! EEEEE!

Happy Birthday!

2008-12-29T19:09:00.000-08:00

Today JewishGuy's sister (BigSIL) had a baby girl! Happy birthday to her!!!

Florist meeting!

2008-12-29T17:20:00.000-08:00

The chuppah is going to be four bamboo poles (held by friends) with a white cloth on the top. JewishMIL is making it! At the corners there are going to be a couple of these pink & yellow daisies plus some greenery:

The rest of the flowers are going to be these white daises (and also some smaller, also white daisies):

The daisies will be mixed in with the felt and button flowers from Princess Lasertron (click flower for link to etsy shop):

Except the flowers will be in this color palette:

so... YAY!

I think I am going to have the bouquets be a mix of a couple of white gerbera daisies with the button flowers, mine having more button flowers than the bridesmaids'. I don't know if anyone else is having button flowers, it depends on what they want - I know my mom wants a button flower corsage but I don't know if anyone else wants, so I will have to ask :)

The centerpieces as they are right now (subject to review, I think) are going to be two white gerbera daisies and one button flower in one of three clear vase designs (ellipse, rectangle and square).

Also I want to have little tea lights on the tables with the centerpieces, I think that is pretty easy to coordinate.

Overall I think everything will be simple and fresh, I don't want to compete too much with the mansion.

Grandma & Grandpa (dad's side)

2008-12-28T19:16:00.001-08:00

I figured since I was going to post a picture of my mom's parents I should post a picture of my dad's parents so you can see where (I think) I get my face from (my grandma). At least my eyes and my nose.

Fashionable Grandma

2008-12-28T18:16:00.000-08:00

I would wear exactly what my grandma is wearing in this picture (this is from their wedding day). Look how fashionable! Sadly, the outfit is long gone.

Well maybe I wouldn't wear the heels, not because they aren't cute, but because I do so badly wearing heels. CankeyB wants me to wear heels but I would be so uncomfortable and would probably fall at some point.

You can't tell but my grandma has bright red hair - she is 95 and she still has natural red hair.

Hair pieces again

2008-12-25T10:03:00.000-08:00

Lalala... looking at hair pieces on etsy on Christmas morning.

Two things I like:

1) The headband. Super easy for me to put in my hair, since I am planning on not wearing it during the ceremony (veil only) and then during yichud (the time when the bride and groom are alone together after the ceremony) I will take off the veil and stick something nice in my hair, like a nice headband.

2) The crown. I like this because it's also super easy, and also makes me look kind of like a woodland princess. I think it looks really fresh and playful.

I am looking at clips but clips and combs tend to annoy me because they slip around in my very fine hair and I end up having to constantly adjust or just take them out.

All the images are links to the seller but not the individual item. I've decided not to do that for etsy anymore because things tend to disappear and then I can't find the seller again!

Anyway, I think I can go a little elaborate on the hair piece, since I won't be wearing any jewelry except the wedding ring and my dress is going to be as simple as it gets.

ALSO NOTE... these are custom made pieces, none of these are actually for sale, if I wanted something like this I would talk to the seller and design my own piece.

The Make-up Consultation

2008-12-24T12:21:00.001-08:00

I guess I will preface this by saying I have a lot of hang-ups about make-up and my face in general. I have low self-esteem and have always had low self-esteem, and sometimes when people talk about make-up on my face, and about how important such-and-such is, sometimes (okay, all of the time) I get the thought in my head that my face is not really all that pleasant to look at on its own and I would be doing a service for humanity by wearing make-up. When someone tells me about the make-up I SHOULD wear, it always comes out to me like a list of the faults on my face: you have bags under your eyes so you should wear concealer, your eyebrows are light so you should darken them, and on and on. Instead of hearing, there is natural beauty in your face, let's highlight some things, I hear, here are your faults, let's cover them up.

In general, in life, I don't wear make-up, and when I do it's for a fancy occasion and I can't wait to wash it off after. If I didn't feel like my dress would completely wash out my face in all of the pictures because I am super-di-duper white, I wouldn't bother with make-up at all.

I am pre-wired to be defensive about my face. Or really about anything. (This is something I am working on)

I guess I should have told the make-up artist that before I went, because after I told her I didn't wear any make-up ever nor did I know anything about make-up or what looks good on me, I kind of felt defensive the whole time. I felt defensive because I don't use a different moisturizer in the winter than in the summer, or an eye cream (because of my previously mentioned bags under my eyes), or have an extensive make-up routine, and on and on. I said, I concentrate all of my face-care efforts on preventing acne.

I am so sensitive about comments on my face. Like, "oh you have big eyes!" which should be a compliment, I guess, but it was followed up with, "oh, this one is bigger than that one," which is my NUMBER ONE anxiety-producing aspect of my face, the thing I see in every picture and every time I look in the mirror is that one eye is bigger than the other, and I had it pointed out to me by someone else. And she said, well, it's natural for one side of our body to be bigger than the other, which is true... I know that's true, but it's not exactly a compliment.

She did a very nice job with the make-up but I have to say I felt kind of down during the consultation.

I also felt defensive because we had only scheduled an hour and a half for make-up, nobody knew how long it would take, etc etc... "You aren't having a wedding coordinator?" "Isn't the bride's family the one who pays?" "You're letting your fiance see you before the wedding?" (We are doing the picture-taking before the ceremony) And all these questions and I was just like ........... I just wanted to see what you would do to my face...?

Dress Nightmares!

2008-12-18T09:11:00.000-08:00

I had the most annoying dream this morning. It was annoying because it played on my worst fears of the dress-deciding process.

To make it short, because I know reading dream posts is boring, in the dream I was in the car with some people from school and I said, let's stop at the mall and I will try on some wedding dresses, it won't take very long. It ended up taking 6 hours and I was unsuccessful. After trying on no fewer than 15 dresses, other people modeled them for me, and my friends were getting impatient. In fact, all of them at one point or another had gone into the mall to do their own shopping because they were bored. I wasted their entire afternoon and didn't even have a dress to show for it!

This is honestly my worst fear about dress-deciding. This is why I'm having a trying-on party at my house. At least then if it takes a while, everyone's sitting down and eating and drinking and talking to other people. I don't want to waste my friends' time. I know when people volunteer to help me shop for dresses they know that they are just watching me, but I assume they don't mean for hours on end with a picky shopper who also always thinks she looks fat. It's exhausting, I'm sure.

Mysterious Dress

2008-12-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

This dress... I saw it a year ago, before I was even engaged, and I said, that is the dress I want.

Unfortunately, this dress doesn't exist anymore. I looked on the designer's site and it isn't in the last two years' collections. It's an old dress.

I don't think it would look good on me but it is so pretty.

Also, since the trying-on party isn't until January, I am still looking around. Ha!

(EDITED TO ADD: I think I need to say why I was looking at wedding dresses before I was engaged. My friend was getting married and SHE was looking at dresses and sending me to those sites. Of course I looked, too! I wasn't pre-planning the wedding :-P )

Arrivals!

2008-12-17T13:38:00.000-08:00

Two of my dresses and my fancy underwear arrived! So now I'm waiting for the other dress and my trying on party will be in January ... I kind of want to take them out now but I think I will save that for the party.

Invited Conundrum

2008-12-16T20:21:00.000-08:00

I have written before about what to do about inviting people from our current city, since we have a lot of friends in the synagogue and I would want to invite my whole graduate program class.

We've decided to invite our closest friends from shul to the wedding and then have a separate party for the people in my class when we get back. The reason is, there are a lot fewer people from shul we want to invite, and we simply can't invite another 27 people. Additionally, if we only invited a few people from the program (because there are a few people I would really like to be there), there is a good chance they can't afford to come anyway, so all I would accomplish by inviting them would be to point out who are my closer friends in the program. We're all getting along really well right now and I don't want to start any drama, like why did she invite her and not me, and I don't even know if that will happen but I don't want it to happen.

So that is the solution. I'm not 100% happy with that, but there is no way to invite everyone from the program. I feel bad inviting them to pre-wedding things, like my dress-trying-on party, but not inviting them to the wedding. I wish they could come. But we are really overbooked, and I don't want to put pressure on people who are already spending tons of money on school (and who likely don't have jobs, very few of us are working at all and those who are do so in order to pay back loans immediately that are gaining interest) to spend $200-300 on a plane ticket and $100+ on the hotel room per night.

Well, we weren't invited to our friends' wedding here when we first moved here because we'd only been friends a few months and they didn't have any more space. We weren't offended! We understood guest list limits and whatnot. I hope everyone understands for us!

Hair pieces

2008-12-14T12:37:00.001-08:00

Here are some hair pieces I like today. If I had a hair piece, it would go in after I take the veil off, between the ceremony and the reception. So I wouldn't wear two things at the same time. (All images are links to seller)

This is just what I like today from looking around on etsy... Yes, my coursework is done, you can tell because I am posting like crazy and don't feel guilty about spending the entire day looking at wedding stuff.

Right now my hair is really short and in the best haircut I think I've ever had. So I am going to keep my short hair and just put something pretty in it. I kind of like the headbands because there's little danger of them falling out.

On the other hand, I might not want anything at all.

Mantilla

2008-12-14T11:12:00.000-08:00

For a while I was pretty sure I didn't want a veil. Then it was the question of, so what happens at the bedeken if there's no veil to put on the bride? But then I remembered this entry about the photographer and the veil that I wrote back in October and decided to try to find out what kind of veil that is. It's called a mantilla. It's a Spanish style veil. I don't know how it will go with the dresses I already ordered but I think it's pretty.

I kind of need to decide on the dress first, but I think all of the dresses I ordered are simple enough to go with a mantilla veil. Also, I am going to see what my mom's dress and veil look like when I take a trip home next week.

Question about dresses

2008-12-14T09:46:00.000-08:00

Wow a lot of posts today.

My question is, why is it assumed a man will rewear the suit he was married in, like the purchase is not a one-time-only deal, but a wedding dress is not to be reworn? Something about it is weird, even if you aren't buying a bridal gown, the idea of wearing the dress again is weird. I know some people do it, but there's the element of surprise - wow, that's your wedding dress? And you're wearing it again?

I mean, why not wear it again? But it feels weird somehow.

Bridezilla

2008-12-14T09:33:00.000-08:00

Dresses Ordered

2008-12-14T09:13:00.000-08:00

Here are the dresses I ordered:

from jcrew.com

from nordstrom.com

from nordstrom.com

They are all somewhat similar but I think they are nice. I had some dress drama last night as you can tell from the one-liners. But I think this will be good.

And here are the shoes I want, but haven't ordered yet:

I like the silver shoes because I think I can wear silver shoes again, but white shoes probably not as often. I have these exact shoes in black and they are so cute, except I really need to have them stretched. They are rubbing hard core and are really uncomfortable, only because the leather needs to be broken in. So maybe I will have them pre-broken in.

So I ordered these dresses to my apartment and I am going to invite some people over to see if they look good on me. I am thinking of it being some kind of little party. I have talked to many people about this, it makes me so uncomfortable for people to sit around and wait for me to try things on, but if they are at my house and eating and drinking and hanging out, it will be a lot more comfortable for me and probably fun as well. :)

Dress

2008-12-14T01:35:00.000-08:00

Three dresses have been ordered! Now I am arranging a dress-trying-on party...

One-liners at 3:30am. Hooray.

Kittel

2008-12-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

Are there kittels for women?

... I am exploring a range of options for bridal attire, apparently.

The Invitations!!

2008-12-11T10:09:00.001-08:00

The last image is what it looks like all together.

We decided to do one piece of paper that is folded into three parts, the final section being a tear-off postcard RSVP! We are leaving the whole back of the RSVP postcard free, so maybe people will write us notes or draw pictures for us, who knows.

The colors look a lot brighter on my computer screen than they do in real life. The pink is a deep fuschia, the yellow is quite bright but the brown is a little darker, like chocolate brown.

Our benchers will have the same design as the first panel of the invitations in a bright green!

The invitations are from OrangeBeautiful :)

Invitees

2008-10-30T09:11:00.001-07:00

OK Here is my conundrum.

Someone else in my program is getting married before me and she invited the whole class. That was really nice of her! I am definitely going to the reception, the ceremony unfortunately is still on Shabbat and I can't get there (but the reception is after Shabbat, so I can make it!). The thing is, she is getting married in Chicago, so it's different, kind of? I'll explain.

Our wedding is in Maryland. There is a good chance most people in my program won't be able to make it because flying is too expensive and it's a 12 hour drive. Plus, on top of that, the hotel costs, etc.

So then, should I invite everyone in my program, or just the people I am close with? We are having numbers issues, and are cutting back on invitees because we are running out of space. I don't want to invite the whole program because we just don't have room for many more people. I don't want to invite select people for the reason that BECAUSE most people won't be able to come anyway, all that would accomplish is making some type of statement as to who my "real" friends are in the program. Or, should I not invite anyone from the program (I don't really like this option, I have already become good friends with some of my classmates)?

On a positive note, a surprising number of our friends have already said they have booked hotels or flights! People we were unsure of because of financial concerns are coming anyway! How exciting!! They are sharing hotel rooms, shacking up with friends in the area, etc. Some are even coming for the whole weekend!

Updates & Clarification

2008-10-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

HEY everyone,

#1, I wanted to clarify something important about the blog, because I think I have given the wrong impression to some people. This blog is where I post things that I like, things that I think are pretty, not necessarily things that I *have* to have. I'm not actually a bridezilla. I just think things are pretty. Mostly, I am flexible about the wedding, and have in fact given up control over most things because I don't have time or I'm not overly concerned with how it turns out. I do have general ideas as to what I want, which I post here, but it's not set in stone! So what I post here is the same as a bride-to-be buying bridal magazines and clipping things out that are cute.

Also, just a note, I lapsed in renewing my domain name, so images may not show up on the site for a couple of days. They will be back soon, hopefully.

#2, Updates! We are having our invitations done by OrangeBeautiful, and they are pretty awesome, so check them out. They also have a blog, where they post pretty things that THEY like! I'm having my second meeting with them next Thursday, when we'll go over some designs they are working on for our awesome invitations. The invitation is going to have a tri-fold, with the third section being a tear-off RSVP postcard. How fun! They're going to play off of the cuteness of the imagery of our Hebrew names, which mean Bird and Tree. WE ARE SO ADORABLE.

Also, I am taking a trip to Maryland in December to meet with florists and wedding planners. We are thinking of hiring someone for the weekend to make sure things go smoothly, and if not the weekend then definitely a day-of coordinator. My mom is putting together the itinerary of my meetings and I'll just go to them and chat (maybe we will go together?)

Things are coming together without me having to do too much, which is also awesome. My mom and JewishGuy's dad are working on Shabbat services, the whole family is participating, reading Torah or Haftorah or having aliyot or leading services. It's going to be awesome. I am really excited. :)

DesignerChick is working on setting up a consult with her make-up artist for me also for my trip in December. I probably won't have the dress yet, but we are going to design my make-up concept. Ha!

CankeyB along with my other bridesmaids are hard at work on my bachelorette party, although I don't know much about it other than it will be a slumber party the Thursday night before the wedding. OBVIOUSLY I am ridiculously excited! (Also... I have a sneaking suspicion there might be a "surprise" bachelorette party for me here in Chicago thrown by people in my program...)

I think that's it for now in terms of updates...!

Long Time No Post

2008-10-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it's really been a long time since I've done a wedding post. Basically, I am overloaded with grad work, so I have pretty much given everything away that I can give away for other people to do. I am immensely grateful for the stepping-in of family and future-family! I don't know how this would happen if it were just up to JewishGuy and me, seeing as how we are both working our butts off and JewishGuy is traveling at an average every other week.

However, things are getting done. My mom is working with a florist for various arrangements, JewishMIL is going to MAKE the chuppah (woo!), we are going to do our own centerpieces, we've booked our print media contract (OrangeBeautiful, check them out, they are awesome). We've made some decisions, like no wedding cake but heaps of desserts. People are volunteering for Torah reading, JewishGuy is doing the Haftorah, for our aufruf.

Still have no dress!

And on and on. One day I will be finished with the major assignments and I can go back to posting!

Gorgeous!

2008-10-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

I took this photo from Jessica and Ben's post about a featured photographer, Tec Pataja.

I just think this is a gorgeous veil. I don't know if it's what I want, but it is so pretty!

6 months!

2008-09-29T06:08:00.001-07:00

Exactly 6 months and counting!

Also, Shana Tova!!

Strength in Numbers

2008-09-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

Two other people in my grad program are engaged (not to each other, separately engaged to other people). It's exciting because now I don't have to feel so weird saying my fiance this or that. I can also talk shop - ie: "wedding plans" - with them and not be too afraid of boring them! Hooray!

Photographer: Booked!

2008-08-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

We have a photographer! Amy Raab will be with us all day. Hooray, things are getting taken care of :)

Check out her blog! blog.amyraab.com

I didn't actually find or talk to the photographer at all. JewishGuy did a quick search, sent some links to his mom, who contacted photographers and booked Amy. Sounds good to me. Her photographs are gorgeous. :)

Weird Gift Dream: Pyrex?

2008-08-26T06:58:00.000-07:00

I had a dream that, for our wedding, someone gifted us with a new Pyrex bowl that had one of their awesome vintage patterns:

I used to drool over the awesome old patterned Pyrex bowls at the thrift store. The problem? You can't kasher Pyrex. IE: No vintage Pyrex on our registry (unless the previous owner kept kosher). If only they made them new with those patterns. :(

(Click the image for more items with that pattern on pyrexlove.com)

Chuppah (?)

2008-08-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

I think we want this chuppah:

I made an inspiration board (click for large version) but it's not as nice as the centerpiece one:

I just want to make sure it will look good in the two possible settings (indoor/outdoor).

Cutiepants (my future) Nephew

2008-08-24T15:36:00.000-07:00

DoraBoy, JewishGuy's nephew, is turning 3 years old in October and he is a cutiepants.

SportyJew, JewishGuy's younger sister, just bought her dress for the wedding recently. She was explaining that the dress was for our wedding to DoraBoy when she was trying it on for BigSIL (JewishGuy's older sister).

Later, they were listening to Rafi, and my name happened to come up in one of his songs. I have one of those names that comes up relatively frequently in children's songs from the 20th century. DoraBoy exclaimed, "Wedding!"

BigSIL and BigBIL were confused.

DoraBoy said, "[JewishGal] and [JewishGuy]! Wedding!"

We have a fan :)

Centerpiece Inspiration Board

2008-08-24T15:25:00.000-07:00

I made this today (click for larger image) to give to my mom so she can go to the florist with my ideas for the decorations. Lots of different, interesting vases and simple flowers (white gerbera daisies and cherry blossoms?). The top left is a picture of the room we'll be in for the reception so hopefully she can work with that.

Next up, inspiration board for chuppah, etc.

Outta Controlllll

2008-08-23T22:15:00.001-07:00

After visiting two potential printers/designers for invitations, I emailed the parents asking for final guest list numbers so that we could have an accurate quote. I had been telling the designers that we were going to invite a bit more than 200 people because we were expecting around 150 guests. It turns out we are now inviting almost 370 people to the wedding (so even if 50% of those invited decline, we are still higher than JewishGuy and I originally wanted). Not to mention the venue - an old mansion - only holds 200-230 people in its largest room, so if more than 60% of our guests come we cannot legally have them all in the building!

This of course was Friday afternoon, so imagine the freaking out that happened by me this Shabbat! Much. I think we were just totally shocked by the difference between what we thought we had discussed back in March/April, and what it turns out the reality is today.

JewishGuy and I have talked about it and it seems like we have a major breakdown in communication - the bottom line is, email lists don't seem to be working out so well right now. I think we've come up with a viable solution: A google page! We spent a lot of time this evening setting up our google page for the parents to use.

Here's a cropped screen grab:

Hopefully this will work and keep us all organized and communicating effectively (I realize this will only work if people check it relatively frequently).

Every section has a To-Do list that is organized by who is in charge of the item, what it is, how it was resolved, and whether it is complete. Every section also has a "notes" section, so that JewishGuy and I can write in what we were envisioning for this particular part of the wedding. This way we can delegate, have everything all in one place, and not have to send long emails back and forth!

For example: I am asking JewishMom to be in charge of the florist. So that she doesn't have to keep checking her inbox, searching for the email I sent her about what I want, or searching around the house for the pictures I sent of examples of center pieces I like, she can just go to this website. There it is: Decorations -> Decorations Notes. Pictures will be in Share Files -> Decorations Pictures.

JewishGuy and I talked about this a lot this Shabbat. We talked about how much control we really want to have over the wedding, how we're feeling about things in general, and especially about this guest list thing (which shocked both of us, I have to say). I was feeling very overwhelmed by the planning process, I think mostly due to the way we were going about the planning, where I was being held responsible for final decisions on things but I felt like I wasn't actually in control of the planning - for example, I would get a list of things I needed to accomplish, like someone else is in control and I was reporting to that person, but then I was asked for advice about something I was told to do... I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore!

It's not that we didn't appreciate the help - I don't know what we would do without the parental support!!

The point is, I think us taking more of an active role in organizing the planning will help us to not feel quite so overwhelmed. We still plan on only being in charge of the few things we want to do, but now we have a system where we are also overseeing the progress of the other elements.

This doesn't quite resolve the guest list issue. It may happen that we will have to pare the lists down, as it's now T-7 months and we may not be able to find another venue that will be large enough to comfortably hold about 80% of the people we are planning to invite. If these lists are the absolute minimum, there really is no way that we can comfortably fit 300* people in that venue. We will be back to square one in that respect, which I am not looking forward to, but we'll deal with that if it comes to it I suppose!

* The event planner in me doesn't feel comfortable with inviting so many people over the legal maximum occupancy of the largest room. I would like to plan so the largest room can hold 80% of our potential guests - just in case!

I need this veil

2008-08-21T12:53:00.001-07:00

I know, these posts are hilarious and have no real wedding planning value.

BUT.

I must have this veil.

Wedding Cake - Hilarious Disaster!

2008-08-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

OH MAN.

Click the cake to read the story of the disaster. Then, you must visit Cake Wrecks. I found it this afternoon. The latest post is extremely sad, but the posts about previous cakes are amazingly hilarious.

Luckily, JewishGuy and I have decided not to get a cake anyway.

New top contender?

2008-08-20T20:30:00.001-07:00

One of the brides on my reading list recently bought a JCrew dress. There is another one on the site I really like (I think this is the one she bought!), but I think this one might be more what I want.

Simple Chuppah

2008-08-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

Pretty... (click to see florist)

I like the more simple chuppah design, with some little flowers near the top.

Ball is a-rollin'

2008-08-20T17:22:00.001-07:00

Seriously, it is amazing to have a supportive fiance, future family in-law and family in the wedding planning progress. I have to say: I LOVE delegating! Love, love, love. It means I can focus on working on a few things rather than feeling like I am in charge of everything.

Today I feel good about the delegation and am now working on invitations. We've talked about this (fleetingly) and basically decided we want a local (Chicago) printer, preferably letterpress printer, to do our invitations. AND they have to be done by Thanksgiving-ish. Hopefully that's not too much of a time crunch.

My employer has a good friend who is a letterpress printer so of course I emailed her first. I also emailed a few other printers who are actually in my neighborhood - as luck would have it - so hopefully I will hear back from them soon.

The main issue is that we will need Hebrew on the invitations. At least our names will be in Hebrew, if not more. I'm not a huge fan of the whole invitation being in Hebrew and then translated, although it can look nice, so it really depends on how that all works out.

ALSO...

We are looking for a photographer. We really like Akil, as he did our friends' wedding and was fantastic. The downside is he is in Houston so we would have to drag him all the way north for the wedding, which adds to the cost, of course. We are looking for photographers in the area who offer a similar package with similar quality, but to be honest I don't think we are going to find it. We're still looking, so we'll see...

JewishGuy is in charge of the band. He's taking on that responsibility, and I'm glad to let him have it. He's going to contact the 5 bands we've narrowed our search down to, get some samples, we'll both listen to them, then he is going to make the appointments for auditions so that my parents (and hopefully also CankeyB) can listen to them. We got some great recommendations from Jewish couples who were recently married in DC, as well as family members who know people who know people.

CankeyB has found her yellow dress, and although I haven't seen it yet I'm sure it is great! This is exciting - the yellow dress was going to be the hardest one of the three to get, since yellow is not in season anymore she had to brave the sales.

I've decided I want a button/felt flower bouquet by Princess Lasertron. I have to run it by the parents but I am sure this is the best option for me. They are soooo cute!

I am thinking of alternatives for bouquets for the bridesmaids and boutonnieres for the men. I think I might want to go with the herbs for the boutonnieres, but I don't know about the bridesmaids.

Anyway, yay, progress, things are moving, can you feel it?

Need to get on the ball!

2008-08-17T10:39:00.001-07:00

As you may have noticed, this blog has gone pretty quiet lately. It's because the planning has also gone pretty quiet! We are falling a little bit behind, partially due to the move and starting grad school and whatnot, and also partially do to a little bit of burnout perhaps.

Last weekend JewishGuy's parents and younger sister and my parents and younger brother came to visit and meet for the first time. It went really well, we hung out and saw some Chicago-y things as well as a Cubs game (who knew Cubs fans break out into song when they win? Maybe it's because they don't win so often?). But I think it made us realize that we really are running out of time and we need to get on the ball.

JewishFIL sent us a check-list of things we have to do, or delegate. So last night we went through the list and assigned ourselves parts to take care of. I'm assuming the list will then be passed around and we'll all assign ourselves things to do and then things will get done. I also assigned some of my bridesmaids things to do, although I've talked with them before about it... like the possibility of CankeyB being involved in the band selection (as my proxy haha), DesignerChick in charge of hair and make-up.

Hopefully the vague-ness is still okay and things will work out all by themselves...!

Don't Worry, it will calm down

2008-08-13T22:26:00.000-07:00

Today I was talking to someone who is recently engaged, as in, a few weeks ago. Now she is getting the calls about setting a date. I told her how within 24 hours of being engaged I was asked the date. I told her how I was already crying about the wedding in 72 hours.

I have to say the first week of being engaged was probably the worst. Picking the date was the hardest thing I've been involved in regarding wedding planning so far. Either it was too far away, too soon, on someone else's wedding date, on an anniversary of death (family, national tragedy or poetic), or somehow inconvenient/difficult for important people to attend. I considered asking to elope. I don't know how that works for people who want to be married Jewishly. I guess we could just find some rabbi here and two witnesses and print a ketubah off of the internet.

I'm glad that week is over. And now I find myself in the position of reassurance. Eventually, people will either stop asking, or you will pick a date and it will be over.

EEE!

2008-08-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

HOW cute. So cute. (click image for info/link to site) Besides the fact that it's sold, it's actually kind of yellowy (according to the site), so I don't know that that will work for me. BUT the silhouette is adorable. Thank you, CankeyB for pointing me towards Posh Girl Vintage!

Sorry so few updates recently... swallowed by class and job hunt... will be back on the wedding planning train soon!

Flowergirl: an 8,000lb "big sister"

2008-07-27T18:23:00.001-07:00

"It's not uncommon for a groom to include his sister in his wedding party. The story becomes significantly more unique when you find out his "sister" is an elephant.

Joshua Schacht, 22, and Ashley Glass, 18, were married last night at Mendon's Southwick Zoo in a wildly entertaining ceremony. Dondi, a female Asian elephant, served as the flower girl in the couple's wedding.

Better quality photo:

Read the whole article here.

Dresses... sigh

2008-07-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

So many pretty dresses at Nordstrom... (click to go to dress page)

I might end up ordering a bunch of dresses and then returning the ones I don't like. It sucks, but none of the ones I like online are in the store. I still love this dress the most, but I don't know how it will look on me.

I know I was talking about getting a custom dress, but I think if I could find one without having to go down that road, that would be best and easiest.

Potential Invitations..!!!

2008-07-21T14:56:00.001-07:00

This is a long shot... BUT.

Today I just had an interview to be a studio assistant for a woman who makes items with cute little illustrations on them - items like pillows, sketchbooks, bags, ceramic things like cups and pendants. The interview went really well, so hopefully I will get the job.

Anyway, she has a background in letterpress and actually has a 102 year old letterpress in her studio. She said she would show me how to use it and I could play around with it! She said she would be happy for someone to use it, since she almost never gets a chance to use it anymore. At the end of the interview, she joked about making things for my wedding - LIKE INVITATIONS - and giving me an employee discount. (I'm telling you, the interview went really well!)

So I'm thinking, if she shows me how to do the letterpress then maybe I could even make the invitations myself, or at least design them exactly how I want and have her make them!

I really want the job... they kept talking about what I "will" be doing, rather than what I "would" be doing, which I take as a good sign. Plus there was a lot of laughter and it was really laid back. And she loves robots!

Here's hoping!

Wedding Review!

2008-07-13T15:09:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday night we went to JewishGuy's friend's wedding in Toronto. It was really great and especially interesting for me, because I've never really been to a traditional Jewish wedding. (Well, I think I went to one when I was younger but I don't remember)

So here's the summary of what happened:

It was at a synagogue - most of the interior was decorated such that you would not know you were in a synagogue (aside from the posters for events and whatnot that managed to peek through). There were hors d'oeuvres all along the hall, with multi-colored martinis and interesting things on plates circulating. Everything was delicious but unfortunately I didn't see all of the food, because I missed some little meat things people were talking about before that were apparently hidden somewhere. Everything was pretty fancy. JewishGuy went up this huge staircase to the room where the groom and his men were.

This is from JewishGuy's retelling: In the groom's room, he was giving a little sermon about the week's Torah portion (for non-Jewish readers: Jews read a selection of the Torah every week, it's standardized so all Jews are reading the same selection of Torah at the same time, and we get through the whole thing in a year). He barely could get out a sentence or two before the rabbi would interrupt him by breaking out into song. This is apparently standard, for the men to heckle the groom before the wedding. Also, there was drinking.

Then the groom was escorted out of the room with dancing and a clarinet player, down the huge staircase into a small chapel where his bride waited, and everyone else was allowed to enter to watch. The dancing was pretty hilarious. The bride sat in this huge white chair while the men sat at a table and signed marriage contracts, including the civil marriage (she signed them as well but she was on her own separate chair). Then the groom put the veil over his bride and we all left to get some more food and then take a seat in the main sanctuary.

The main reason why I'm not a huge fan of weddings in synagogues is because it's hard to hide the fact that you're in a synagogue. Mostly, this wedding was able to accomplish this, except the main sanctuary still pretty much looked like a sanctuary. But what are you going to do. The chuppah was beautiful, it was basically a simple frame with white cloth draped around it and a chandelier hanging from the middle. There were little tree branches on the four posts with candles and beaded details on the cloth. Very nice.

The procession, the circling the groom 7 times, the blessings, etc. The cantor was very ornate with his singing. The cup they broke was a kiddish cup that the groom had gotten for his bar mitzvah, which was cute.

Then they walked out for their time alone together, we went back out for more food and drinking before going into the hall. The hall was really well decorated, I think you wouldn't have known this was in a synagogue if we hadn't just been in the sanctuary. The centerpieces were tall so that you could see everyone at the table, like they were on little glass pillars. My only complaint about the hall was that the band was a little too loud (also we were positioned right next to them), so it was very hard to have conversations and JewishGuy's voice became hoarse by the end of the night. However, everything was beautiful, from the silver chairs to the white drapery on the windows. This was actually the same color theme as our friend's wedding in Houston, which was basically purple, green and white. The kippot at this wedding actually matched the dress I was wearing!

The bride and groom entered the dance hall under arches held up by the wedding party with flowers on them, and then we did some circle dancing and lifted them up on chairs. They even did the thing where the bride and groom hold a piece of cloth between them as they're lifted up on the chairs, like the very religious people do (because they aren't allowed to touch in public). It was funny. There was separated dancing for this part, but it was spontaneous I think, as the men were all dancing around the groom and the women were dancing around the bride. The rest of the time it was mixed dancing.

Also at one point the bride was up on a chair again holding an umbrella with multi-colored strings hanging off of it and people were holding the strings and dancing around her. I thought that was cute. I don't know if I would do it at ours but it was definitely funny and cute.

The bride and groom were glowing! They were really eating up the attention and you could tell they were having fun. That was the best part. They were going around and we actually got to talk to them for a couple of seconds as they made their rounds (there were over 300 people there so you know they must have been busy). JewishGuy and his friends from university took some reunion shots, which was funny, although some random guests decided to jump in for some reason. I met a lot of JewishGuy's friend's significant otherseses, usually because the guys were taking pictures or drinking together and we were at the table ABANDONED. (hahaha)

All in all it was a very fun evening. I wish my dress hadn't been so tight at the top, I was somewhat uncomfortable for about two hours during the evening, but I got used to it. I felt like a victorian lady. Now I realize for my wedding dress that I'm going to have to sit down and really push out my stomach as big as I can and see if I feel comfortable like that. I was fine until I ate, and after I ate (when my stomach was a little bigger) I was uncomfortable, but after a while it was fine again. SO. Lesson learned.

I'm not sure when I'll be going to my next wedding! We have been invited to two weddings (one in August and one in October), but I don't think we will be able to make either of them because they are on Shabbat and they are far away. We'll see...

Wedding Tonight!

2008-07-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight is JewishGuy's friend's wedding :) I am excited because I think it will be really fun, I am going to get super dressed up (I bought a really nice dress just for the occasion) and JewishGuy is going to get drunk and I'm going to go to my first Jewish wedding.

Well, that's not entirely true, I have been to two other Jewish weddings. However, one was a second marriage, so it was small, and also I was pretty young so I don't remember most of it. The second one was not a traditional wedding (from what I can remember, I was also pretty young) so it wasn't much different than a secular wedding.

From my understanding, this one will be fairly traditional, but we'll see.

The only part of the evening I'm somewhat worried about is the kabbalat panim, when the bride and groom welcome guests separately - ie: boys and girls are in different rooms. This wouldn't be an issue except I only know JewishGuy's friends and all of them are male, which means they will all be in the other room. It only lasts an hour and JewishGuy said he would introduce me to some ladies before disappearing for drinks and heckling, so it should be fine.

After that we'll be together for the rest of the evening, or at least most of it (I assume he'll be doing a lot of drinking and merrymaking with his friends, as it's basically a university reunion). I am, of course, the designated driver. I'm always the designated driver because I very, very rarely drink to get drunk. We also have a long drive back to Chicago tomorrow morning so I will be taking the early shift so he can be hung over a little.

Will report back later!

Engagement Party! (not mine!) & Status

2008-07-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went to my friends' engagement party in Chicago! We joked about my blogging the party so here I am, blogging it.

I am really glad that we got to go to the party. It was really nice, everyone was so friendly and warm. It was great to see my friend again and meet his fiance :) They're not actually living in Chicago so it was funny that we happened to be here exactly in time to go to their party.

One day I will post again about wedding plans, but we just moved across the country and we're about to go to a wedding this week so everything is crazy. However, soon I will update everyone with the Shabbat menu for our wedding weekend! Yes, the menu is already planned, how exciting. (That is the menu for the weekend, not for the wedding itself.)

So this post was more like a, where-have-I-been-for-the-last-week-or-two, so there you have it...

Engagement Party!

2008-06-23T10:39:00.001-07:00

I suck at taking pictures, is what it comes down to it. The thing is, if you take pictures during your own party, you end up missing out on the party. Since it was only 2 hours, I opted for only taking these pictures from a distance and then spent the time hanging out with everyone.

From a distance

One of the tables

I think it went really well!

The menu was cake, brownies, fruit, cookies, wine, soda and water. The water was actually the most popular drink because it was quite hot. I put out candles in my little pots I made in ceramics and flowers in the vases I made. The candles worked out really well because they melted down and turned the pot into a candle! So now I have useful little candles instead of stupid little useless pots. I had my little ipod speakers playing in the background.

I think everyone had a nice time :) It was laid back, mostly. Someone asked if we were going to do toasts or something, but it's weird if we host a party and then make people toast us! Someone else asked if we were going to have a cake, but again I thought it would be weird to have a party and buy our own cake so everyone could congratulate us. SO... we had cake, but it was cut up and distributed around (I made the cake from a mix......... but I did make the icing myself, apparently I got a lot of compliments about it).

We started making a schedule for seeing people before we leave at the party. I think we made 4 dates at the party! Haha! This was an engagement/going-away party so it was happy and sad at the same time.

It was only two hours but I think that was a good amount of time. People came and went, a lot of people had apparently double-booked their evening! But it was good, and I am glad we got to see everyone at least one more time before we head out. Even my old roommate came by, and I haven't seen her in at least 7 or 8 months.

Yay :)

Status Update!

2008-06-22T07:16:00.001-07:00

Since we'll be interviewing our first (and hopefully only!) photographer tomorrow, I thought I may as well post a status update. What has been done so far, and what does theknot.com say we have to do soon?

DONE

Booked hotel, venue and caterer
Found an "officiant who suits [our] style and spirit" (JewishFIL)
Put together an engagement party (happening tonight!)
Begin working on wedding guest list
Choose color scheme
Start registering for gifts
Choose bridesmaids, etc
Begin looking at gowns
Gave the bridesmaids guidelines for the dresses (well, I still have to send the packet to HillelLady!)

CURRENTLY WORKING ON

Booking photographer
Looking for bands to interview/get sample mp3s from
Deciding where to go for honeymoon

NEED TO DO THIS MONTH

Insure the engagement ring already!!! (it's going on our renter's insurance at our new place)
Interview/book a wedding consultant (a day-of coordinator)
Decide on a budget (haha)
Finalize the guest list
Book the band
Talk to a florist

We liked the photographer from our friends' wedding so much we are going to try to book him for ours. We're meeting with him tomorrow to talk about his rates and travel stipulations, considering he will have to go all the way to DC for the weekend. I'm hoping that he will be excited to be there for the Cherry Blossom Festival and won't charge us too much for his travel! We'll see. There are also photographers in the DC area that CankeyB is pointing us towards, also JewishGuy's cousin is sending us amazing photographers but some of them are super expensive and high profile.

Also, I think we need to add the invitations to things that need to be worked on this month. I think once we finalize the out-of-towner guest list (which should be almost finalized?), we should send out save-the-dates. There's also some controversy about whether or not to send RSVP cards, but I'll talk about that another time.

In any case, I think we're in good shape considering the wedding is still 279 days away!

Posting on Shabbat

2008-06-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm taking advantage of how I'm not shomer shabbat yet by posting on Shabbat to tell you...

I added some blogs to my link list so if you want to check them out, they're on the right column at the bottom. Some of them have little snippets of their most recent entries and some are just listed, but all of them are neat!

Also, I want to mention that JewishGuy broke into the babka last night even though it was supposed to be for the party. Babka just doesn't last long in this house. Luckily he only took a small piece (and gave some to me) so we should have enough.

(We are planning to go shomer shabbat once we get to Chicago so just two weekends left! haha)

Ketubah

2008-06-20T12:31:00.000-07:00

We are casually looking for a ketubah at the moment. We both really like the ketubah that our friends in Chicago have, although they were vague as to where they got it. So maybe we will pry the information out of them, or else we will just have to find our own.

Anyway, this one is pretty.

We wouldn't get it with English on it, though, so I don't know what the bottom would look like. We bookmarked the artist's website, though.

We also like...

But this artist has no website, which is not convenient.

And...

This is what we know: we want the traditional Aramaic wording, we don't want it to be too bright and colorful, we don't want just text in a rectangle or oval with an intricate border, and we don't want English. We like trees and flowers but any nice design would be fine.

Engagement Party Planning......?

2008-06-19T19:46:00.001-07:00

Last week someone text messaged me and asked if I was free to hang out. I said that I was out of town so unfortunately no. They replied, "Okay, well, see you on Sunday!"

I said to myself, "what's Sunday?"

Um... the engagement party!

Yes, with all of the craziness of traveling to Israel, Chicago and Maryland, trying to decide on how to move to Chicago, apartment silliness, and other things, I had totally forgotten about our engagement party. I had all these plans for fun decorations and crazy whoseemawhatsises. But instead I find myself somewhat scrambling at the last minute. Not really scrambling. I am cool and collected like a seasoned event planner (I did do event planning for 2 1/2 years).

Today I went to the grocery store and picked out some wine and cookies. I did get a babka because I like babkas, but I am going to try to keep this from looking like a standard Jewish community event, which is what I did for my job for 2 1/2 years. You may see a recurring theme in my wedding planning - I don't want this thing to look like a similar thing I did for my job, or that thing to look like that event I did, etc.

Our party is going to be in the courtyard of our apartment complex. It's really cute with a nice fountain and little tables with chairs and some small lights hidden in the bushes. I'm planning on putting the food on one table and the wine and water on the other, with candles as the decorations. I was going to make little candles but it looks like a lot of work and I'm kind of busy/lazy. I'm also planning on making a little guestbook so people can leave us a good-bye note or something. I don't know if I'll do that, JewishGuy made a remark about it, it might be a little cheesy to do that.

More on plans later, if there are more plans!

Bridal Hair Dos

2008-06-18T06:55:00.001-07:00

I have short hair and that's not going to change. I am not going to grow out my hair, suffer from the mid-length in-between hair-cut woes just so one day of my life I can have an updo. And anyway, I don't like updos. And I don't think I look great with long hair.

I was browsing Googleimages for pictures of short bridal hairdos and basically all I saw was "stick a headband in it" or "stick a tiara in it." That's fine, I guess that is the only option. I'd have my hair cut and styled and then I would stick a headband or a tiara in it. Except, I don't want a regular bridal headband or tiara.

myrakim

whichgoose

Both of these things are not exactly what I want, but both of these sellers custom-make bridal headpieces.

I don't know how these will fit in the picture re: the veil, but that's not so important in the brainstorming phase. Also, since I don't have my dress yet, I can't really make serious decisions about accessories. But I wonder if one of these head pieces, when combined with a button bouquet, might make me look more hodge-podge than cute. I may have to choose one or the other.

Custom Dress Part 1

2008-06-17T06:25:00.001-07:00

Pictures from websites of places in Chicago that make custom dresses. This post is as much for the OOH PRETTY as it is for me to remember these places so I can bookmark them when I get back home (I'm out of town right now, yes, playing on the internet looking at dresses!).

meen-kyole
I like this designer because she seems to do really simple lines. It seems like she mostly does not do wedding dresses, but that isn't really a problem. Her dresses look really fun to be in, like the dress above - very flowy, fun to spin around in, and comfortable.

dame couture
This designer looks excellent but expensive. I especially like this dress. They do have some dresses in their collection that I like, and will also custom-design dresses if you want to tweak some of their designs to your personality. I want to check them out, but may not end up there unless the less expensive options turn out to not be what I want.

simple silhouettes
I've looked at simple silhouettes before. I like the idea because it's custom-made, but from pre-chosen pieces. So you choose your top, bottom and middle from pre-designed pieces. You basically build your dress from dress legos. There is a location in Chicago, but that store only carries the pre-made dresses (I think). They will send swatches and other materials by mail, but I'm not sure how I feel about that without being able to try it on and meet with the seamstress. I think I will check out the shop that sells them, though, because it's a bridesmaid shop so I could also look at white bridesmaids dresses while I am there. The shop also carries Jenny Yoo, which was recommended to me by Kim :)

Still looking...

Button Bouquet!

2008-06-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I love this...

I think it's adorable! I want a button bouquet!

More pictures..

Click the bouquet above for the etsy page of Princess Lasertron (the woman in the top picture!) to see what else she makes.

I looooooooove this. I looked a lots of pictures from her wedding (not a stalker, I saw it on Offbeat Bride) and I just loved, loved, loved it. I want one! Either I will buy or make one myself, I think.

It's great because it's something different-ish - "ish" because obviously I am taking the idea from someone else - and also because I can keep it forever afterwards. I can take the button flowers off and sew them onto the guestbook, or around frames of pictures from our wedding, etc.

I've seen the button bouquets before but I think I really want one now!

Entertaining Thoughts (re: dress)

2008-06-16T07:17:00.001-07:00

I am beginning to seriously entertain the thought of a custom-made dress. I have a feeling I am going to be too picky to find something in a salon or too weary to go to many, many department stores looking for the right evening gown that happens to be in stock when I am there. JewishGuy's cousin suggested this to me a while ago and now I am reading about it on various blogs.

My thoughts:

PRO: I would be able to get the exact dress I want; CON: I don't know exactly what I want (I assume if I come in with pictures and drawings we would be able to work something out, if I find a good seamstress)
PRO: I can take my time working on the dress because the wedding isn't until March - getting a custom-made dress means I won't be tied to the fashion "seasons;" CON: it will be a lot more involved than simply trying on a dress and going, this is it! Although, that is also a PRO, I think.
PRO: I would be supporting a local businessperson, rather than a large company, which I like. CON: I probably will have to pick someone based entirely on their portfolio rather than ratings I find on the internet, which I have come to depend on.
PRO: It may not be as expensive as most bridal salons, and I will get exactly what I want. CON: It will still be more expensive than an evening gown.

I think the PROs outweigh the CONs, so maybe I will start looking into this after we move to Chicago. This also takes a lot of stress off of me to find something while the summer/spring dresses are still out.

I don't know yet, but this is sounding like a better and better option. :)

Dress Shopping Attempt #1

2008-06-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I wish I could say I found the dress.

Remember all those pretty white evening gowns I posted constantly? Well, they exist on the website, but not in the stores, so I couldn't try any of them on. There were NO white gowns in the stores. We went to a bridal shop and I tried on some expensive gowns, but wasn't overly thrilled even without the knowledge of each of them being $3300 minimum. (I know, my parents say, do not think about the money, but I am thinking about $3300 and how at least $2300 of that could be spent on something more fun)

It didn't help that I was put on some medications the night before that made me ridiculously drowsy, and I think we only made it to about 5 stores (in 3 hours) before I really had to go home. I probably shouldn't have been driving. Luckily, I am over that now, but unluckily it was the day when I wanted to be awake and excited and shopping. I am doing fine now, I was on some strong anti-nausea medicines that knocked me out and some strong antibiotics that weren't helping with the nausea, but now it's OK :)

Anyway, I am going to keep looking, but I am very annoyed at the stores for advertising these beautiful white dresses on their websites and then not putting them in their stores. People have suggested ordering them and then returning them, but I really have no idea what is going to look good on me, so this sounds like an unnecessarily expensive way to go about this.

L'sigh (dramatically).

Bridesmaids Kits

2008-06-10T10:25:00.001-07:00

For the past couple of days I have been assembling/creating a Bridesmaid Kit. I am kind of dorky so I got really excited about putting together a packet for my bridesmaids. I'm giving one to YoungerJew (my Man of Honor), even though most of it is about dresses. Ha!

Here is what is included in the kit:

- A little thank-you note for being my bridesmaid!

- An information packet about the dresses, dates for the wedding events, and a Jewish wedding crash course.

- A color palette to use as a guide when picking out dresses (or for future reference, like if they have an idea for decorating or whatever). I didn't give YoungerJew a color palette for two reasons: 1) he isn't picking out a dress, I will just give him a matching tie/boutonniere; and 2) he can't see colors, so it wouldn't mean much. :-P He said I should have slipped him a grayscale palette... ah! that would have been funny, but I am not that clever apparently. We keep joking about how I'm going to put him in a pink suit or something and tell him it's gray.

Anyway, I also kept a color palette for myself. I just went and got paint samples and cut them up and then tied the colors together - it's pocket-sized so they can take it in their purse when they go dress shopping... YES I am a super nerd!

Here is the palette:

You know I can't have a simple color theme as to have two colors... of COURSE I must be more difficult. But I think these colors are related to each other enough that it will make sense when everything is said and done. The main colors are the yellow, brown and green, with highlights of pink and blue. It's very springy :) Ideally, CankeyB would be in yellow, DesignerChick would be in green, and HillelLady would be in brown. Then I'd want to accessorize in blue and light pink, like have one accessory tie everyone together.

Making decisions, moving along, woowoo.

The dress I'm not getting

2008-06-08T15:27:00.001-07:00

Here are pictures of the dress I saw in Israel that I am now 100% sure I don't want to get. It looks amazing on the mannequin, and even though it fits me perfectly it still doesn't look amazing in pictures. Therefore, it is Rejected, but fondly Remembered.

A close-up should show the design on the fabric better, even though the picture was taken through the store window...

Pretty.

Dress Hunt Prep

2008-06-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

We are preparing for the Great Dress Hunt of 08. CankeyB and DesignerChick are coming with me for a shopping extravaganza. It's going to be all afternoon + dinner, I think, because CankeyB has a photoshoot in the morning (yes! I am friends with someone who does photography for magazines! I feel so cool by association).

Since I don't want to spend most of my time in bridal shops that seem overpriced and not really what I want, we're going to go to two massive malls in the DC area while I am visiting next weekend. These malls should have enough stores that sell evening wear to have white evening gowns to choose from, as well as maybe some bridal shops. There are also bridal shops right near the malls just in case.

I was looking at the websites for these bridal shops near those malls and they are pretty pricey. One website had a ranking system for how expensive dresses were, and the lowest category was "Under $2,000." Eep! I do want to go to bridal stores but I just can't see myself buying a dress for more than $2,000, one that I'm only going to wear once in my life. It just doesn't make sense. I am going to focus on the white evening gowns, I think.

Also my goal is to give CankeyB and DesignerChick their color palettes to work from so they can shop for bridesmaids dresses at the same time, if they want. If only HillelLady could come! But it's a complicated weekend and she is way, way up North now. For the palettes, I am thinking of going to a paint store and picking up some paint samples so they can have real colors that they can keep with them for future reference. This means I'll have to decide on a palette in the next couple of days so they have time to buy their dresses while spring dresses are still in style. Otherwise they will have to wait until the last minute and hope they can find something at the beginning of the season.

...Maybe I will put together some kind of bridesmaid "kit" that I will also send to HillelLady in the great white North (I'm going to have to give her another name now that she doesn't work for Hillel). Color samples, dress suggestions, lists of important information (like dates, events I hope they can come to, etc), information on Jewish weddings, and other things. HillelLady is probably the only one of them to have been to a Jewish wedding before, and I've only been to three small ones so I also don't have much experience with it. Oh that would be cute. Maybe I will try to do that in the next couple of days, too...

Okay, well, I am making more work for myself so I'd better get moving!

The dress, no longer

2008-06-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

I decided I don't want to get that dress from Israel. When I got home and looked at the pictures, I don't look very good in the dress - at least in pictures. And we're going to have a TON of pictures from the day, I assume, so I don't want to wear something that's going to make me look wider than I am.

Oh well!

Yay Tallit! & Dress stuff

2008-06-02T05:36:00.000-07:00

I bought the tallit for JewishGuy! I happened to be walking around Jerusalem and stumble on this little shop for an artist who hand-weaves tallitot in Rehovot. She said she could make a custom one if I wanted, but I saw one in the shop that I think is perfect. I had my friend try it on so I could see what it looked like on someone, and I think it's good. He won't get to see it for a while, though! I'm not going to describe it here but it's nice, not crazy colorful, understated but I think he will like it. And if he doesn't like it, the lady said as long as it's clean and new we can bring it back next time we're in Israel (honeymoon?? :P). So that is nice to know.

In other news, I am glad I didn't spontaneously buy the dress. I showed my friend pictures of it on my camera last night and she seemed unenthused. Granted, she didn't know what I was looking for, but it doesn't matter, if she didn't think it looked good then maybe I was just caught up in the moment. Really, it's good I didn't buy it, because it was at the upper limit of what I wanted to spend on a dress! Plus I would have to carefully transport it back.

ahhh!!!dress!!!

2008-06-01T04:37:00.000-07:00

I may have found The Dress!!!!! Yes, in Israel. I passed it on the street, fell in love, it happens to be EXACTLY my size in every area so no alterations needed - I'm not even exaggerating!!!!!!!! The guy in the store let me take tons of pictures, he said I could email him from home and he would ship it to me if I wanted so I didn't have to make any decision without consultation...

It is knee-length, has a very modrn pattern of squares that are slightly transparent to another swirly pattern underneath, it has a v-neck with beading (not a halter top, no crazy boobage) and the skirt is a-line with a tied-on belt.

He said (this could just be the sales talk) that this was the only one of this dress he had right now and if it didn't fit perfectly then I would have to be in Israel for a lot of time so they could alter it because it is difficult to alter.

Anyway, I'm not going to ppst pictures because JewishGuy reads this but I was very excited. I'm going to shop around of course but.... YAY.

Tallit

2008-05-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

I am either going to make JewishGuy's tallit or I am going to buy one for him when I am in Israel. I'm leaving a ton of space in my bag to carry all the things I bring home - I am literally packing economically (only bringing about 5-6 days' worth of clothing, a compact towel, using hippie toiletries to maximize multiple use soaps, etc) so that I can shop shop shop for things for the wedding, among other things.

I really like the idea of making his tallit, but I am not an amazing seamstress so I would rather buy him something awesome that would last a long time than spend a long time making something that would start to fall apart at the seams after a few years. Also, I bet I could find some amazing tallitot in Tsfat, hand made by someone in the artist's colony, for not very much money!

The reason I am buying him a tallit is because he follows the tradition of not wearing one until he is married, so I want it to be a present from me. :)

Traveling to Israel!

2008-05-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

I will be going to Israel soon, so I made a new blog (of course) to document my travels. But the cool thing about this blog is I'll be posting mostly audio posts from my cell phone since I don't anticipate having much access to the internet.

Check it out!

jewishgaltravel.blogspot.com

Funny Wedding Expectation

2008-05-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

Until a few years ago, I'd only been to two weddings in my whole life. Therefore, most of my wedding experience came from the movies, and you know how weddings are in the movies. Something terrible always happens - someone objects, someone crashes into something, the bride doesn't show, or something else. Every single wedding in the movie has some kind of catastrophe (unless it's at the end of the movie, in which case it's really pretty and perfect).

So when I started going to weddings of cousins, friends, friends-of-friends, the first few were interesting for me. I sat there waiting for something to happen. I wasn't consciously waiting but I remember when they ended I would think to myself, "wow that was easy!"

I think most weddings happen without much difficulty, though.

Plus One

2008-05-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

We were having a little drama about the issue of "plus one"s. I think the drama is over now, though, so I'm glad that was short lived. I think the invitations might become a bigger issue if we start getting into really high numbers, because I'm not sure I want 300 people at the wedding (and also the venue only holds 250). I'd really like to keep it 150 or less but I'm not sure that's happening. It's not terrible to have it so big, it's just... so big.

ANYWAY...

This is what the story is right now: Anyone single over 30ish gets a +1. Meaning, they get a "Jane Doe and guest" invitation. This is because so many people in that demographic will be paired up so it might feel awkward for some people to go stag. Under 30 (other than my single cousins) don't get a +1, because there is a pretty big crowd of single 20-somethings that will be there and a lot of them know each other. Everyone in a serious relationship gets an invitation that includes his/her significant other. The problem with this is the definition of a "serious relationship" - how long do they have to be together, how serious is serious, whatever. I think this will have to be a case-by-case basis. Many wedding sites say to use the "one year" guideline, so we might do that in the case that we don't know much about the relationship of the couple, but it's not a hard and fast rule I think.

There are a couple of reasons why I don't want to give every person without a significant other a +1. The first one being that I don't really want a bunch of strangers at the wedding, people who don't know us and probably won't ever see us again. JewishGuy and I agreed about this, we don't want people to have to "find a date." But also I think it will bring the guest list up too much, potentially 20 more people, and when we're already watching our numbers to keep it at 150 it just doesn't make sense.

I hope everyone can be happy with that!

China Patterns

2008-05-06T21:50:00.000-07:00

I would love to have plates that look like this

Or maybe some other things from Laura Zindel. I have always loved pretty much everything on this website and I keep forgetting to bookmark it. Not this time! I want this whole collection. JewishGuy says his sister would never eat at our place with bugs on the dishes but I think they are neat.

We are having some difficulty finding dishes we like. There are some things that are all right on the websites, but nothing too exciting. I think we've come to the decision that we won't register for dishes, at least for now, since there's no point in registering for dishes we aren't enthusiastic about. The dishes we have right now are fine, so I don't really want someone to spend money on new dishes that are "eh" just because. I think we will still register for the fancypants dishes, though.

Registering!

2008-05-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday JewishGuy and I went to register for presents. For some reason we thought Macy's and B3 (Bed Bath & Beyond) would be a good combo for registries - I don't know why we thought that. Listen up, anyone who is reading this who is thinking of doing this combo...

We spent 3 exhausting hours at Macy's going through everything on the floor and painstakingly picking everything up, putting it down, not feeling 100% about it, registered for it anyway (we can edit the registry online), etc. It took forever. They didn't give us a catalogue or anything to look through, we just had to look through the store, so it really took forever and we didn't even get halfway through before we were exhausted and needed to go get a snack. We turned in the ray gun and left to get a snack and continue on.

Then we went to B3 hoping to look at some extra kitchen things we couldn't find at Macy's. WELL. Apparently they had everything - they had these huge catalogues with the same dishes and everything else we saw at Macy's and more, plus we weren't limited by only getting things from the Martha Stewart collection.

The person we worked with at B3 said that it often happens that people will come in after already registering somewhere else and then think, why didn't I just come here first? Well, that's what we were saying, and we were somewhat frustrated that we spent 3 hours at Macy's! And we just can't figure out why we really wanted to register at Macy's anyway. I guess we just assumed you couldn't get fine china through B3, but you can, it's through their catalogue - not only can you get fine china through B3, it's the same exact china that we saw at Macy's, probably the same china you see in many stores. That's what happens when you assume!

Anyway, the registry is a perfect project for JewishGuy. I think he is more excited about it than I am. I mean, I love presents and registering for fun kitchen gadgets (go go gadget stand mixer!), but he is really going nuts with the kitchen stuff. Today I came home and he told me about all the things he added to our registry while I was away and how he had organized everything and whatnot.

So here are the fun parts about the registering process:

We got to use a ray gun! Very fun. It's not actually shaped like a gun - they really should have made it look more like a gun like in Star Wars. You just aim and fire and it shows up on your registry online. JewishGuy did the shooting (it seems like it's usually the groom's job).

JewishGuy and I have very similar tastes, we basically know exactly what we want when we see it, so there wasn't really any conflict on anything. That wasn't really surprising but it was really nice, especially since both the woman at Macy's and the man at B3 joked about the fights that break out!

All in all, I'm disappointed that we lost 3 hours of our very busy week, but it was a learning experience and now we are kind of reorganizing the way we're doing this registry. It's easier if you think about it first, apparently...

Engagement Party Delays

2008-05-04T19:02:00.000-07:00

We have decided to delay our local engagement party until June for the following reasons:

We got lazy on sending out invitations and now it's a week before our original date and nobody has been officially invited. (This is a big reason) Although we could send out an email, I really want to send out invitations, I just think that's nicer. Plus, I made the invitations already! I just have to scratch out the date somehow haha.

Right now I am feeling ridiculously crazy and not ready for most of the traveling I will be doing this summer, plus I'm still kind of finishing classes and taking care of grad school things, like financial aid & loans, eek.

I unfortunately had to race up to NY last week for 4 days, which cut out a significant amount of time to get things done that I needed to get done before I leave for Israel in a couple of weeks.

We haven't registered for gifts yet... At first we weren't planning on registering before the engagement party since we weren't expecting our friends to give us gifts at the engagement party, but a number of our friends have asked us to register. Who are we to disappoint them? ;)

Also, while I was in NY, many of my family members asked when we were going to have an engagement party. And when I told them we were having one down here, they looked surprised and somewhat upset that we weren't having a family engagement party. So now I am wondering, should we have another one in NY? Maybe this summer or maybe closer to Thanksgiving when everyone is around anyway?

So now we are thinking late June, like June 22, for our local engagement party. Some people won't be able to make it because it's so late, like people who are moving in May and people who are going on summer trips or internships, but I don't know how we could pull it all off in a week and still be sane. I mean, we could, it's possible, but I think we might just delay it for sanity's sake.

Fun with Lists

2008-05-04T18:44:00.001-07:00

Wow it is hard making a guest list. We came up with a first draft of the guest list of just JewishGuy's and my friends today - mostly because we were concerned with the weekend events involving food. Some of our guests are religious and coming from out of town, so we will be providing meals for them and services at the hotel throughout Shabbat. That means we have to know how many people to expect to feed for those meals and how much space to rent at the hotel. While we were at it, we made a list of our friends who will be eating on Sunday (well, we separated it into "maybe," "probably," and "unlikely.")

It's a pretty long list! Right now it looks like around 20-25 of our friends will be there for the weekend and around 35 for the wedding! I think we are looking to invite about 55 friends to the wedding, total. Our friends list doesn't include our parents' friends and their (our-age) children, or family.

What sparked this new progress was developments in the catering and hotel arranging department. I have only heard through JewishGuy (after talks with his mom on the phone), but it sounds like we are going to go with this caterer, which has been highly recommended by pretty much everyone we know in the area, even though we haven't tasted the food yet. It also sounds like the hotel is going to be really flexible with us about blocking off rooms since we are renting conference rooms for meals and services - as in, instead of charging us a percentage of the costs of the rooms we can't use once we've blocked them off, we'll be able to cancel them 3 weeks in advance with no (?) charge. That's fantastic news and a big sigh of relief, considering we are blocking off rooms in DC during the cherry blossom festival!

Things are falling into place, at least some of the major things. Although, because I don't want to jinx it, AHH EVERYTHING IS FALLING APART AND NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT RAH RAH RAH :( :( :(

Polaroid Guestbook

2008-04-23T11:51:00.001-07:00

Did I mention this already?

I love love love this idea. You put a polaroid camera out by the guestbook and tell people to take pictures of themselves, stick it in the book and write a message. It's somewhat complicated so one person who did it said they had a bridesmaid or someone walking around and assisting the processes during the party (haha). However, I think it's a fantastic idea!

Of course, it's also kind of expensive to buy the book that is specifically designed for holding polaroids. Another tactic would be to buy a bunch of scrapbook photo corners (those sticky corners) that are meant to hold photos onto flat paper like in a scrapbook, and people can just stick their pictures on that way... also complicated, though, maybe even moreso. Like this:

Maybe we could, in advance, put squares on the pages so people just have to slide polaroids in...

Anyway, I would love to figure out how to make this happen. I think it could be really fun!

Back

2008-04-22T13:50:00.001-07:00

Whew, haven't posted in a while because of Passover and whatnot, but I'm back now... although I might not do much posting until after my next exam (which is tomorrow, so whatever).

The Dress: When to buy?

2008-04-15T17:52:00.000-07:00

I started thinking about this when a) I was looking at white evening gowns instead of wedding gowns this week; and b) I asked CankeyB to come with me shopping (which will have to be in June when I am visiting).

I am wondering if I should buy my dress in June or if I should wait until later. theknot.com suggests buying it in June, which I guess is only 9 months away and then that would be out of my mind. And I was thinking June might be a good time because the springy/summery dresses will be on sale and the fall/winter dresses will be coming in - whereas if I wait until December to go shopping, I might have only a selection of wintery dresses and will end up having to go to - and depend on - a bridal shop. If I shop in June, I could go to both a bridal shop or two and some stores with white evening gowns.

The only real reason not to go shopping in June is I don't want to change my mind sometime between June and March!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-04-15T16:58:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEWISHGUY!!!

Similar Pretty Dresses

2008-04-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

On a similar vein as the jcrew dress in the previous post...

(click the images to see more about them on nordstrom.com)

I like these because they are simple and flowy and pretty and come down to the ankle (ie: don't touch the floor so hopefully I won't trip) with no train.

My Wedding Dress

2008-04-13T20:38:00.001-07:00

First, a pretty dress:

(click image for info on the dress from jcrew.com)

JewishGuy keeps asking me why I don't want to have a regular wedding gown. Like the poofy ones you see in the catalogues for the bridal shops. Why, when I see a pretty white dress that isn't necessarily or even at all a wedding gown, I think (and say out loud), that would be pretty to wear as my wedding dress!

This is how it goes,

Me: Ooh! That is really pretty. Really pretty. I bet it would be really pretty as a wedding dress.

JewishGuy: Why don't you want a regular wedding gown?

Me: Because I don't want to look like a poofball.

JewishGuy: But [so-and-so] didn't look like a poofball.

To which I have no response, I guess. Other than, [so-and-so] is much taller than me, has a much different body shape, and looks better in big white dresses!

Here is the bottom line for what I want to wear on my wedding day:

I want it to be white.
I want to be comfortable in it the entire time. I want to be comfortable walking down the aisle, I want to be comfortable standing under the chuppah, and I want to be comfortable not only sitting at the table but also dancing. I don't want to be fidgeting the whole time, pulling it up here or down there or holding up the skirt so I don't trip. I don't want it to be heavy and weighed down by lace and shiny things and whatever. I want it to fit, I want it to be light, I don't want to think about it, I just want to be comfortable.
I don't want to feel exposed. I don't want to feel like people are staring at my boobs, or that my top is going to fall down. I don't want to feel like I'm dressed provocatively, I don't want to feel like at any minute something is going to pop out.
I don't want it to be over-the-top. That is not the kind of person I am. Maybe someone who looks exactly like me could feel absolutely comfortable and feel fantastically beautiful in a dress with a massive poof that makes them look like a dollop of whipped cream with a human head and a train so long it takes four people to carry it and a million pins and folds to keep it off the ground later, but I won't. And even if you think I'm exaggerating, and even if I am exaggerating, I don't even think that I would feel comfortable in many of the more simple wedding gowns I see on the many, many bridal websites I have been looking at.
I don't want to feel like I was pushed into wearing something that fits the ideals of someone else, because this is my dress! If there's anything I'm allowed to be a bridezilla about, it's my dress!

Before anyone says anything, obviously I am going to go try on a bunch of dresses before I discount the idea completely. And I am only putting this in bold just in case anyone is scanning this entry and not reading the whole tantrum (LOL) and wants to tell me to try things on before I discount them. But I can tell you right now, while I think many brides look beautiful in their gowns, I don't much like the gowns for myself.

And what's wrong with that?

Bouquets ... & Silliness

2008-04-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I am looking at wedding websites I am acutely aware of how silly I am caring about these little details. However, I am allowing myself to indulge in these details because... well... why not?

I don't think I was ever aware as I was tonight as I began looking at bouquets. Something about it made me think, wow this is a little silly. And yet!

I like the small, monochromatic ones with interesting texture as you can see.

I kind of want to make my own bouquet, but I think it might be too hard. I don't know. I know it's hard to be in charge of the flowers instead of hiring a florist because you have to somehow keep them refrigerated. BUT I feel like if I keep the flowers/number of flowers small-ish, it could be do-able.

Kippot?

2008-04-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

Is that something I'm allowed to post about here, too? :-P

For my bat mitzvah, we had turquoise suede kippot. I don't know that I want to use leather again, even though it's nice, and I definitely don't want to use satin or velvet (those never fit right).

So I thought to myself, do they make custom knit kippot?

And, well, they do!

Here are some nice ones:

I don't know if the second one would be too busy. I really like it. I think this would be something that JewishGuy would have final say on, though, since he would be the one wearing it.

But I like the idea of having knit kippot because I think it increases the chances of people wearing it on a regular basis, not just stuffing it into the kippah drawer in their dining room for guests to wear when they come over for Shabbat. YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A KIPPAH DRAWER (or maybe it's a basket, but don't pretend you don't have one).

The knit ones aren't actually that expensive, either! I think they might even be the same price as some of the velvet or satin ones.

It's just the same thing as the favors. I don't want to give out favors and neither does JewishGuy, but if we did give out favors I wouldn't want it to be something people throw away as soon as they get home. There is a good chance people will take the kippot home, that's just how it works. So if we are going to spend money on something people are going to take home, I don't want them to just toss it in a drawer to pull out at some random time when Uncle Shmuely comes to town.

More Centerpiece Prettiness

2008-04-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

More ideas...

I really like gerbera daisies (they're in two of these pictures I think - the bottom two). I think they are very simple but bright and happy and have enough stage presence to stand alone in a vase. I also like the idea of white flowers with colorful vases.

I was talking to my Maid of Honor, CankeyB, and she sent me some information from her sister about decorations and flowers. Apparently Costco sells flowers in bulk for pretty cheap! This is exciting, especially if I want to only use one or two different kinds of flowers. I can buy lots of interesting, colorful vases and use the same flowers in each and keep my costs down (this way we can justify splurging on the food a little, maybe?). I will also dress it up with some candles and what have you. Hooray, that's exciting. I think I've pretty much set my mind on finding vases at the thrift store and putting together the centerpieces myself.

And now, for the picture of the centerpiece that not only would I never use, I would be very upset to go to a wedding to find this:

Look, I know fish are bad pets. I hate fish. They're messy and require a lot of work to take care of (the cleaning and the filters and the blah blah carnivorous snails blah blah). I have had them as pets and I think they are the dumbest pets ever and are really more like living art than pets - I have no patience for pets that just sit and do their thing and don't really interact with me. However, messy living art they may be, I don't see how they are disposable like flowers for a wedding!